Stanley Fafara

Dear Paul and Mary--

I just thought I'd share a good story with you regarding human kindness:

I don't know if you are aware of the circumstances behind Stan's funeral, but it is still sort of an ongoing process. Several of us were told that, somehow, a church that Stan did not belong to, came up with enough donations to take care of his public memorial and private funeral. The only thing missing was the headstone, which is why I started the memorial fund. No one seemed to know why the church did this. Last week my bank contacted me and told me that someone who represented the church had been inquiring about the fund and wanted to know what part of the fund was reserved for the church.

Although I thought the church had been extremely generous in what they did for Stan, I was taken aback to think that they would seek restitution for the donations. I was actually upset. I called the head of the church. His name is Father Jim. This is what I learned:

Just before Stan died, he asked to have his last rights read to him. Father Jim just happened to be working that day at the hospital and it was he who was called to Stan's bedside. After he gave Stan his last rights he learned that no funeral arrangements had yet been made and there were no family members present. There wasn't any uniformity to any decision regarding Stan because no one really had the authority to make funeral decisions and we were still trying to locate his daughter. Father Jim decided to personally keep his eye on things and, after a short period of time, decided that Stan should have a proper funeral (the kind he would have for his parents). Time was running out. He took it upon himself to make the arrangements with the church and funeral home and paid for almost all the memorial and funeral expenses out of his own pocket. He never said a word to anyone. We all thought the funeral was paid for by donations from the church. We had no idea. I've never felt so dwarfed by such human kindness. Father Jim gave a total stranger the dignity of a proper funeral---unconditionally. He did not know that Stan had once enjoyed celebrity. He did not know where Stan had come from or anything about his life. What he did know was that Stan was human. And, with that, Father Jim expressed one of the kindest acts one human can bestow upon another.

I learned more. I learned that Father Jim only inquired about the fund because the local news had mentioned that the trust was a memorial fund and it was not stated that the fund was set up to purchase a headstone for Stan. Father Jim was not looking for personal restitution. He was wondering if any of the money was earmarked for the church so that he and his church might be able to help the next person or family in need.

This is truly a wonderful man. And, yes, now that I know the story, the memorial fund is also earmarked for Father Jim and his church. Stan would have been proud to realize such a man was at his graveside. Stan would have liked to meet this man under different circumstances. Stan would have liked to know this man.

It humbles me to know that there are people like Father Jim and you and your organization--people who still express and generate acts of human kindness. It also makes the world a better place in which to live.

Paul, I just wanted you and Mary to see this--for all the kindness you have shown me, Stan and all the people you and your organization have helped throughout the years.

Thank you again.
Sincerely,
Jeff Adler
Portland, Oregon